Epic Fail or How I Learned to Not Procrastinate

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm - Winston Churchill

Today (02.19) would have marked my reentry into the world of road racing.  The Livestrong Austin Marathon/Half Marathon is going on as I write this blog.  BFF and I signed up for this race almost a year ago and we planned on being ready for it.  For BFF, life got in the way of training.  I, on the other hand, have no legitimate excuse.  It's a major disappointment and I feel like I have let myself down.  But in true Valeka fashion, I am choosing to look at the positive side of this.  Every time I see this shirt (because it and my race number are hanging on my bedroom wall) I will remember that I wasn't ready to commit myself to this race and that I WILL do a half marathon again because I love them, blisters and all.   

I am using this failure as motivation for my next success.  I didn't have a game plan in place to get ready for the Livestrong race.  I didn't eat as well as I could have or get the proper work outs in.  I didn't set up a training schedule to prepare my body.  I don't plan on repeating this mistake.  Aside from this being a waste of money (and I HATE to waste money) this was necessary for me.  It showed me that while I thought I was committed, I really wasn't.  I put off what I needed to do instead of starting immediately and putting my whole self into it.  Procrastination.  One of my Achilles's heels (is it possible to have TWO Achilles's heels?  It must be because I have two, procrastination being one of them).

I am going to start running again - screw the walking.  I've been walking consistently and am up to about three miles a day.  I have lost a little more weight.  I am eating right and I'm taking some great supplements to keep everything in check.  I need to get more weight off of my body before I start the "real" running so I can avoid injury.  I've always been a smart runner and I'm not going to risk hurting myself by jumping in before my body is ready.

The beauty of failure is that there is no where to go but back up.  It wasn't my time to run a race but it will be again because I have learned my lesson.  And I don't like failing.  And, most importantly, I don't want to let myself down again.

Happy Trails,

Valeka 

Letting Go

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” — Herman Hesse

Well, this week was supposed to be the beginning of my training for my upcoming half-marathon.  I went to my Zumba class on Monday, took Big Baby for a long trail walk on Tuesday and then *BOOM*, it happened.  I woke up on Wednesday morning with a painfully sore throat - so sore that I couldn't swallow.  And then the sneezing and congestion joined the party.  Needless to say, no running this week.  I'm a wee bit paranoid about running when I have those symptoms because the last time I did (almost a year ago), I ended up with bronchitis which progressed into walking pneumonia.  I certainly don't want to go through that again.  

The cooties have led me to have another thought-filled week (and not all about running).  I started to wonder why I even bother giving thought and effort to certain things in my life.  Running is a prime example.  It feels like the universe is testing me to see how badly I want to run - and I keep failing the test.  I don't get it.  Perhaps I'm not meant to run or not meant to train for races.  It could be that I just need to hang up my smelly running shoes and take up water ballet instead (kidding).  I've heard all of the words of encouragement - "it's not your time right now" or "things happen for a reason", etc. but I'm not entirely buying into them.  Maybe I am trying to force something that isn't meant to be and I just need to let it go.  Ordinarily, I am a patient person - painfully patient sometimes- but it is wearing thin.  I know that waiting can be worthwhile and I have learned that in the past but, geeze, how many running/training setbacks do I need to endure?  All I want to do is run.  Sounds simple enough, don't ya agree?  I'm not asking to qualify for the Boston Marathon, to take first place in my age group or to finish in the top 50 participants.  I just want to be trained well enough to run a decent race that feels comfortable to my body and spirit.  And right now, both feel broken.

For now, I am just going to take this day by day.  I will try to get over this boogery-coughing crap and then go from there.  Maybe I do need to learn when to say when.  I plan on evaluating whether or not my racing days are over but I will make that decision when my head isn't in a fog....and my nose isn't raw.

Happy Trails,

Valeka

Nothing

Running has taught me, perhaps more than anything else, that there's no reason to fear starting lines...or other new beginnings - Amby Burfoot, The Runner's Guide to the Meaning of Life

Running is the classical road to self-consciousness, self-awareness and self-reliance - Noel Carroll

 

This week, I did nothing.  I didn't run or blog or do much else that would be deemed as productive.  Not to worry, I will be running/wogging this upcoming week and every week from here until February (at least).  For some reason, I just felt that I needed this week to prepare myself mentally.  Things have been hectic for the last month or so and it felt good to take a nice big exhale.  Now I'm ready to focus on me and what I need.  And I need to run.  It is my solace, my therapy, my old friend.  

When I run, I always discover new things about myself.  Some of the things are good and some are not but I always learn something.  And I don't necessarily learn new things regarding my ability to run.  Most of the time I learn life lessons or discover a new facet to my personality.  Good or bad stuff aside, it's always good to get to know one's self and running is one of the best ways I know how to do that.

Tomorrow begins a new chapter in my life as a runner.  The training for the half-marathon will be secondary for me when I lace up tomorrow after work.  My focus is going to be on me.  Of course I will be preparing for the race in the process but that will be in the back of my mind.  Gotta take care of me first.  Time to turn nothing into something - in more ways than one.  

Happy Trails!

Valeka  

Patience

Have patience with all things but first of all, with yourself - Saint Francis de Sales

Have patience.  All things are difficult before they become easy - Saadi 

Now that reality has set in and I realize I have signed up for a race, my fun REALLY begins.  I can get very single-minded when it comes to training.  I focus so much on running that I forget that I need to wash dishes, do laundry, put gas in my car and, every once in a while, eat.  I do enjoy the months before a race and everything that is involved like forming a training plan, mapping new routes so that I can include some challenges (especially hills), tracking mileage and creating running schedules.  For lots of people, that part is pretty tedious but I relish it.  I view it as a good opportunity to learn what works for me and what doesn't when it comes to training.  Sure, I could get a training plan from a book or pay someone to do it for me but part of me feels like the victories and failures become more meaningful if I do all of the preparation from inception to completion.  It's kinda like building a garden - you plan it out, enrich the soil, plant the seeds, care for them and enjoy the wonderful things the garden yields for you.  It's very gratifying but requires patience.

The wogging I've been doing is giving me a good foundation to start my training work outs.  I love how running 3 miles seems strenuous at the beginning of the program and by the time race day arrives, those same 3 miles feel more like a warm up.  Our bodies are pretty amazing when you really stop and think about it.  A person can go from being a couch potato to marathoner in a year!  No, really, it can be done with patience, persistence and consistency.  Patience really is key.  I think back on how many times I have given up on things or tossed them aside because I didn't have the patience to see them through to fruition.  There were times that I stopped running because it was taking me too long to get under the 10-minute mile mark and I just didn't want to wait any longer.  How silly was THAT?  In hindsight, I should have toughed it out and kept on working at it instead of giving up.  Who knows what the outcome could have been!  So this time around, I have made a commitment to myself to be patient and to not put that sort of pressure on myself.  My body will let me know when it is ready to do what it needs to do and I will be wise enough to listen.  Anything worth gaining is worth waiting for and gaining a healthy, fit body is worth the wait.  My hope is that my new found patience will trickle over into other aspects of my life as well (hey, it CAN happen!). 

Think about the things in your life that you lose patience with because they are/were taking too long to achieve.  Let your passion for whatever it is you love or want to achieve breed patience.  Take a deep breath and keep moving in the direction your heart tells you is best for you.  The results will be worth it.

Happy Trails,
Valeka    

And so it begins....

If you're going through hell, keep going. - Winston Churchill

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt 

This week has been the sort with more downs than ups but, as cliche as it sounds, everything happens for a reason.  Sometimes we need a swift, hard kick in the ass to get us moving.  That is the kind of week it was for me (I am referring to my professional life, all else is pretty darn great).  I've decided not to devote any more energy to the problems there and redirect it in a more positive way - one that benefits ME.  Even though I've been progressing in my work outs, it has been a slow climb.  That could be because, even though I have been working towards becoming more fit, I didn't have an actual goal in mind.  So, my BFF and I made a bold move on National Running Day (June 1st) and signed up for the Livestrong Austin Half Marathon!!  I am soooooo very excited and am really looking forward to the race.  Of course, I would have preferred signing up for the full marathon but the training for that would have been such a huge commitment and it would have been hard for me to devote the necessary time to it.  The half marathon is a distance I am very comfortable with and there is plenty of time for me to prepare for it.  Plus, if I decide I'm ready, I can always upgrade to the FULL marathon (provided there are still spots available).  Of course, I will be sharing my training triumphs (and pitfalls) with you all.

I guess that's how life is sometimes - it ebbs and it flows.  The same can be said of training - we have good days and bad ones.  It's how we rebound from the tough times that makes all the difference in the world.  The Churchill quote I listed is one of my very favorites.  I recite it to myself any time I am going through a rough patch in my life or when I'm facing a difficult running route.  It is my mantra.  Hell, I may even get that printed on a t-shirt that I can wear to my race!!  I refuse to let anyone hold me back and I refuse to give them the power to determine my worth.  If I sound a wee bit angry, it's because I am.  There will always be people that don't appreciate you, tell you that you aren't good enough, that you aren't the right fit for something or that you can't do something.  You can let it eat away at your self-esteem or you can move on into a more positive direction.  And that's exactly what I'm going to do (in more ways than one).  I may not be fast or skinny but I am going to kick some ass at that race and I know that my family and friends will be there to cheer me on (some, in spirit only).  Because ultimately, the ones that love you aren't the ones that try to make you feel inferior.  They are the ones that lift you up, are there when things get hard and don't ever let you forget how fabulous you are.  Their positivity is what we should carry with us when things get hard and we doubt ourselves.  

So, let the games begin!!  I'm ready for the challenge and I'm ready to begin a new chapter in my life.....and there will be no looking back. 

Happy Trails,
Valeka