Beautifully Imperfect

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. - Kahlil Gibran

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. - Confucius
 
Most of what I write about for Running on Heavy are my struggles with weight loss and how I try to motivate myself to keep moving towards good health in a positive way.  I talk about my fat rolls, the silly things I do, my nacho addiction, and trails I visit.  I can get pretty personal with what I post.  What I haven't written about is finding beauty within ourselves.  So here goes...and it's pretty damn personal.

Let me start by saying something that I believe to be true - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.  I know this because we are all beautiful.  Whether or not you choose to see that beauty is up to you.

We all have our days where we feel fat or less than pretty/handsome.  And sometimes people say things to us that cause us to feel badly about ourselves.  It's one thing to be told something for our own good but it's another to be told something negative about our appearance "just because".  That is something I don't tolerate because it's unnecessary.  Constructive comments are good.  Comments filled with concern for one's well-being are good.  Comments that purposely make someone feel like they just sprouted a giant hump on their back and that their face is covered with warts or hairy moles are cruel.  The wrong words said at the wrong time by the wrong person can be hard to shrug off.  Believe me, I can relate.   

Now, having said that, I know that I am beautiful.  No, I may not be a size 4 (hell, I'm not even a size 10!!), or have the haircolor or eyecolor du jour and I'm not tall but I am me and that makes me spectacular.  I am beautifully imperfect and I love that about myself.  I try hard to not let society's concept of beauty dictate how I present myself to the world.  Yes, I am trying to lose weight and be thinner but that is for health reasons rather than ones of vanity or conformity.

Here is a quote that I love and it sums up how I feel about being beautiful:

 “I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose.” ― Margaret Cho

Feeling good about yourself and believing in the beauty that belongs only to YOU is an important part of living a healthy, fulfilling life.  Choosing to accept the power to look at yourself in a mirror and say "I'm beautiful" and then actually BELIEVE it is life-changing.  Try it.  See what happens.  I bet you smile more, laugh more and live more.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that starts with you and loving what you see.

Happy Trails!
Valeka 

Running On Heavy's First Blogiversary!!!

Today is such a special day!  A year ago today, I got up the nerve to tell my story of weight and fitness struggles to the world.  I made the conscious decision when I started Running On Heavy to not sugar-coat anything I shared and to put my embarrassments aside.  I thought perhaps my posts could be a beacon of positivity in a world that tells us that being heavy means we are lazy, sedentary, ineffective and hopeless. I like to think that my blog has succeeded in being that to all of it's readers.

What I have received in return as a result of putting myself out there has been immeasurable.  My little blog has taken me on an amazing journey and has brought me to an exciting new place in my life.  Thank you all for your continued support, words of encouragement, and for helping me to do what I love most.  I am forever grateful.

I look forward to many more adventure-filled years with you guys! 

Hugs to you all!
Valeka

Lying to Ourselves

Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves. - Eric Hoffer

It's rarely intentional.  Heck, most of the time we don't even realize we are doing it.  And it's an easy thing to get caught up in because there really is no concrete evidence that we are even doing it.  We try to convince ourselves that we aren't depressed so that we won't upset others or because we think it will just go away.  We say to ourselves that we haven't put on weight when the waistband of our jeans is cutting into our muffin top.  We fool ourselves into believing that the extra slice of pizza won't "hurt us" because we will "work it off tomorrow".  Sometimes, tomorrow doesn't come and the only person that gets hurt by the lies is US. 

Deceiving ourselves is easy to do.  We hope that our reality will change and that our self-deception will be inconsequential.  We have no one to be accountable to but ourselves and since we are already lying to ourselves, another little white lie won't make a difference, right?  WRONG.  Most of us try to be honest and not lie to those we love so why do we treat ourselves differently?  I know that I have done it and, as much as I try not to, still do.  But I'm doing better (and that's no lie).

One of the most important things in breaking the habit is to have a few people in your life that will be honest with you - even when it's hard or ugly.  A great support system is crucial and if you have that in your life, use it!  The next step is to have a sit-down with yourself.  Ask yourself why you feel it's okay to lie to yourself.  For me, staring at myself in a mirror and having a heart-to-heart was a major step in the right direction.  Although I did this months ago, I still periodically have the "come to Jesus" talk with myself to keep me in line.  I realized that I owe myself the same honesty and truth that I give to others.  I'm just as worthy of those things as are the other people that I love because, I love myself too.  

Weight loss and wellness are certainly about what we take in from a nutritional standpoint but it's also about what we take into ourselves spiritually.  We must take care of ourselves physically and mentally to make it all work.  We all fall off the wagon and that's okay as long as we don't fool ourselves into thinking that we didn't or that it wasn't a big deal.  Be honest with yourself but don't beat yourself down.  There is a difference.  Tough love is acceptable but don't chastise yourself because doing so causes the cycle to remain.  If you know you are going to be "mean" to yourself because you ate three cookies instead of one, will that make you want to come clean about what you did?  Probably not.  

Treat yourself with love,patience and respect.  You will be amazed at how well you will do on your path to wellness.  

Happy Trails!

Valeka