Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.--John Wooden
It's not the wanting to, it's the having to - My Mom
I've been a good girl and have been getting in lots of walking on an almost daily basis. I know it's good exercise, it's free and it's effective BUT...I'm bored with it. I take my Big Baby with me and it is our bonding time but that is the best part of it. It feels slow and it doesn't ignite a spark in me. If walking were a man, to quote my friend Y, there would be no "ga-ga-goo-goo" feeling.
I don't feel that burn in my lungs and legs like I did when I was running. I miss that feeling. I know that at my present weight, the safest and most logical thing for me to do is walk. But, damn it, I wanna run! The sadness I felt about not running has turned to frustration which is slowly morphing into anger. Anger with myself for getting out of shape and allowing distance to grow between me and the sport I love. Of course, I can get back into running shape with continued good nutrition and consistent exercise but I'm impatient. Trust me - I get the whole concept of walking before I can run but I'm human and it bugs the crap out of me. I want it now (stamping of the foot).
This path reminds me that in running, just as in life, we all have to do things at one point or another that we don't always want to do. Those things are usually in our best interest and have a purpose behind them but they still stink. I remember as a kid, there would be things I was asked to do but didn't want to do and my Mom would always say "it's not the wanting to, it's the having to". And she was absolutely right. I don't WANT to walk but I have to....for now. If walking means that I will eventually get back to running, I suppose I can continue to tolerate it....for now. Anything to get back to my one and only true love...running.